


All Women Are Queens, a thesis by Sanji Vinsmoke and the Straw Hats

by Nerdiethings



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderfluid Character, No Rules Just Right, Trans, Trans Character, just play around in the gender space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 09:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21353887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdiethings/pseuds/Nerdiethings
Summary: Sanji drowns in respect women juice. He's tested on his convictions while the crew learns to drink respect gender juice. Nami is a useless lesbian. Another day for the Straw Hats.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 115





	All Women Are Queens, a thesis by Sanji Vinsmoke and the Straw Hats

The lesson began with a blackboard. It was vaguely unclear where Sanji got a blackboard, but now he had one.

There were a variety of notes already present on the tablet. Chalk drawings of vaguely person shaped doodles in skirts and long hair.

With a long pointed finger, Sanji tapped the center of the board. Written in chalk was a clear, distinct sentence.

"All Women Are Queens."

His glare seemed particularly centered on Zoro. The swordsman, naturally, was more focused on his blade.

The other students weren't all that interested either. Luffy was preoccupied with the deliciousness of a fresh cooked meal. Usopp was tinkering with his tools. Brook was tuning his guitar. Nami was reading her maps. Chopper and Franky were in town getting supplies. Only Robin, chin perched in hand, seemed to be treating him with her attention. This was probably one of the main reasons he was still going. Any attention from a woman was good attention.

"They are blessed, incredible creatures. This is proven by all of nature. By Law. By _factual sources._ We are not worthy to even walk among them!"

"Luffy, don't spit while you chew. You'll hit my maps."

"Mfff!"

"And I have definite evidence of this fact!" He tapped the blackboard again. Sanji had drawn a diagram of a figure falling down. "Nine times out of ten, when a woman falls? She falls down on her beautiful..." 

He struggled for a moment.

"Tail bone. No- her back."

"You mean butt?" Usopp snickered.

Sanji fumed. The word wasn't graceful enough. "_No._ You're missing the butt- the point, idiot. They fall in a way that doesn't damage their faces. Their... beautiful, beautiful faces."

"You have some compelling evidence, Sanji." Robin, as cool as ever. "But, I wonder if there's a flaw in your reasoning."

You could almost see the circuits misfiring in Sanji's brain. He couldn't stand the possibility that the facts were otherwise, but he certainly couldn't contradict one of the most esteemed women around.

He reached a sort of compromise. "What makes you say that, Robin-chwan?"

"Well, we have certainly encountered bad women before. Many women of Baroque Works were hardly saints."

He saw recovery in the distance. "Ah, but you were a member of Baroque. All of them could see the light such as yourself."

She smiled, sipping a cup of tea idly. "Then... what about Kalifa? She nearly killed you."

He waved a hand. "Ah... but she didn't. That's how amazing women are. They could kill us easily, but choose not to."

Zoro rolled his eyes, not turning from his blade. "You shit-for-brains."

"SAY THAT TO MY FACE."

"Shitcook."

"YOU WANNA GO, MARIMO?!"

"So a woman," Robin interrupted, salvaging the ship from heaps of damage, "can do no wrong?"

The cook leaned back against his board. With a swift movement, he lit his cigarette and place it gingerly between his teeth. "Never."

"Even when they hurt others? Or _you?_"

"They're just better than us mere mortals."

"And they're never incorrect or flawed?"

"Never in their lives."

"I see. That makes perfect sense." She set down her cup gingerly. "Then I'm a man."

Every single eye in the room immediately turned to the archeologist. Sanji felt a sudden wave of fear washing over him.

"What?"

"I've just decided. I'm a man."

Sweat dripped down his back. "I... but you're a woman?"

"We're allowed to change our minds. I'll be a man now."

Eyes shot from Robin to Sanji. Tension coated every inch of every person. A line was threatened. A status quo pushed against. And it all weighed on Sanji himself.

The sweat was getting worse. It seemed to drip off every inch of the cook. His eyes bugged out. His face stretched in utter, unwilling struggle.

And then suddenly, it seemed to clear up. He was as healthy as ever.

"Okay."

Robin smiled. "Then its agreed."

"Sure."

Robin lifted up the cup. "Could I get more tea?"

He snorted with astounding derision. "Its in the kitchen. Get it yourself."

And with everyone's eyes on him, Sanji casually strolled out of the room.

Robin smiled. Then, with typical steady motion, he picked up his book. "Interesting."

* * *

At first, nothing seemed to change. The crew half expected Sanji to come back with a full pot of tea and hearts in his eyes. But the moment never passed.

Robin didn't particularly mind that he had to get tea himself for now. If anything, he seemed to appreciate the extra excuse to walk around the ship and see what the crew got up to. And Sanji wasn't particularly rude or anything. He just treated Robin much more casually. Didn't listen as intently. Didn't fret over making sure her tea was always filled.

Bedtime was when things seemed to get complicated.

"And where are you going?"

Robin raised an eyebrow. Sanji seemed to be fixing him with a stern glare. "To bed."

"That's the girls room."

Robin glanced at the door. "I suppose it is."

"You can't be in there! That's where Nami sleeps!"

Robin blinked. Then he smiled. "I suppose you're right. How silly of me. But I did leave all my stuff in there. I should bring them to the men's room."

This seemed to placate the cook. "Well... you need Nami's permission first."

"My permission for what?" The navigator had several notes and map tucked under her arm.

"My things are still in the girl's room. I need to move them."

Nami glanced between the two. "...Oh god, are we really going through with this?"

"A man and a woman can't share the same space like this unless they're..." Sanji struggled again. Consent and purity were two topics he found equally important, but hard to interact with each other. Following ancient chivalry and modern codes of respect was a hard path to follow.

Robin nodded. "May I have your permission, Nami?"

"Permi- of course she's allowed in there!"

"He," Robin corrected gently.

"Robin, please tell him you're not actu-"

But Sanji was already leaving. "Just don't stick in there too long."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Nami's head swung from cook to historian. Sanji returning to his own room and Robin already gathering his things.

"Robin, you can't... really be doing this?"

"He wasn't wrong. If our rooms are really going to be this gendered, I suppose I better follow conduct."

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I get you're trying to teach him a lesson, but this is way too far."

"The lesson wouldn't work at this point anyway. He's less likely to listen to a man."

"But you aren't!"

"I am now." He swung a few books into his bags. "I decided."

She sputtered. "But... okay, if the lesson won't work, why keep this up?"

He considered. "I haven't been a man in a while. Lessons aside, I decided to try it again."

"You haven- what?!"

Satisfied with his bag of clothes and packed books, Robin stepped past Nami. "Perhaps another time. See you in the morning, Nami."

Nami could only stare after him blankly as he descended down the ship.

"Oh, Robin's sleeping here now?" Luffy's voice carried from below the girl's room. "Cool!"

"Wha- you can't stay here!"

"He can't sleep in girl's room, idiot!"

"But she's- ow!"

"Be respectful, Usopp."

* * *

Robin was engrossed in his book, sipping tea casually. Sanji, preparing for lunch, passed by without a word. Nami and Usopp could only stare.

"This is too weird."

"We really got to get her to stop."

"She didn't listen last night. I don't even think she's trying to teach him anything anymore."

"But she's... right there. In my _room_. What if Sanji relapses and freaks out on her?"

"Oi." The two suddenly found themselves in a shadow. Zoro was glaring at them. "He's your shipmate. Behave."

Usopp sputtered. "But she's-"

"He."

"Its not like she means it!"

"If that's what he wants, that's what he wants."

Nami's brow furrowed. "Sh- Robin said something like that. That... he hadn't been a man in a while?"

"What does that mean?"

Zoro shrugged. "He's traveled a lot. Probably tried out different things."

"Like... gender?"

Zoro shrugged again.

"You can't... try out _gender_."

"Why not?"

"Because we're... limited to the one!"

Zoro stared at the two of them with a strange, unusual look. A look of a million feelings, a million thoughts, and a million ideas.

"...I'm not limited."

"What?"

"_Nothing_ limits me."

Fear gripped the two, suddenly. "N-No one's saying-"

"I could fight in any state if I wanted to."

"We're not challenging you or an-"

Usopp shouldn't have said that word. He knew it immediately. He regretted it immediately.

Now Zoro had been _challenged_.

The swordsman marched past them across the ship. He leaped down to the lawn deck, and stopped in front of the door to the kitchen. He paused before the door. Mentally recalibrating what it would be thinking for a while. 

Then Zoro opened the door. "Yo, shitcook. I've decided I'm gonna try being a woman now."

There was a yelp and a thump.

* * *

Zoro took longer for Sanji to adjust to. The same brief sweat that had overtaken him upon Robin's announcement seemed to consume him for hours. He had to sit in the infirmary for the night. Robin was easy for his mind. Robin was right about all things, previously identifying as the superior gender and all. Zoro was different. Zoro was a shitbird and a scoundrel and those were things women could not be. Zoro was someone he kicked _all the time_ and the worst sin was to hurt a woman. The chivalry circuits were having trouble working with this information.

But the following day, Sanji was out and about once again. His cooking was as delicious as ever and he seemed in a normal mood.

It was during dinner that the shoe seemed to drop.

"How's the meal treating you, Nami-san?"

The navigator waved him off idly. "Good as always."

The cook spun around in delight at the compliment. Then he turned his focus to Zoro. With a smile and love in his eyes, he leaned against the table. "And you, my lovely summer day?"

A fork dropped from someone's hands.

Zoro squinted at him in utter, complete bewilderment. "What."

"Summer days. Beautiful green grass flowing in the wind with a picnic underneath. How is my special picnic for you?"

Realization struck Zoro. And then she growled in disgust. "Get the fuck away from me, shitcook."

"As you wish, Zoro-chan~" And he dashed away to the kitchen, no doubt trying to search for the perfect meal to impress his new love.

Eyes swiveled back to Zoro. She shivered, as if trying to shake off the feeling of Sanji's flirtations from her soul. Then she returned to her meal, only offering his in reply:

"_Men."_

Robin smiled, returning to his book. "Not all men."

"...I don't suppose, Zoro, I could see your pa-"

Brook was smart enough to dodge and run before she stabbed him on the spot.

* * *

"Absolutely not."

Zoro glared, bag sitting on the floor next to her. "I have to move."

"Absolutely _not_." Nami crossed her arms. "Whatever... stupid thing you think you're proving, I'm not sharing a room with you."

"I'm not staying in the same room as Sanji. Not like this."

"What's wrong with that?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Would _you_ share a room with him? As a girl?"

...Nami had to afford that point. "Then just... be a guy again!"

"I don't want to yet."

"When _will_ you want to?"

"When I want to."

Nami groaned, dragging a hand down her face. "...Fine. But you'll pay. Plus interest."

Zoro spit as she shoved past her. "Parasitic bitch."

Nami just grinned. If she could get some money out of this mess, it might all be worth it. 

* * *

It wasn't worth it. Nami had slept in the same house as abusive pirate fishmen and somehow _they_ were better roommates than Zoro. Clothes everywhere. Sweaty all the time. Sharpening her blades at the worst possible hours. Eating oranges in bed. She was a _menace_.

By the end of the third day, she was tossing her things out of the room in a rage. "Ants. On a _ship_. You brought ants into our room. _While we're on the ocean._"

With equal vigor, Zoro was throwing her things back into their room. "You're the one leaving useless trash on the table! And you keep damaging my swords!"

"You keep leaving them on the floor!"

"I do _not_. They are _next to my bed_ for when I need them."

Nami was on the verge of screaming. "You put me through this- this stupid- for this stupid _challenge, _and you can't event- You sure as hell don't _act_ like a girl."

Zoro snorted, still tossing clothes back into the room over Nami's head. "You're lucky you said that to me. Some girls might kill you for talk like that."

"Because you're an expert now?"

"You're just limiting yourself to only one way to be a girl."

A lightbulb flickered in her brain. Nami grinned a wicked, mischevious grin.

Then, with practiced care, she draped an arm across the doorway. "Oh, I don't think that's true. In fact, it kinda seems like you've only tried one way to be a girl."

A glower suddenly struck on Zoro's face. "_What._"

"You're afraid to try other girl things. It okay- no judgement here. I know its a scary new side of the world."

"I'm not afraid of anything."

Nami's grin grew. "Not anything?"

And a manic smile appeared on Zoro's own face. The same manic energy that only crossed when Zoro faced the most difficult opponents. "I can take on any foe."

Nami stepped aside, gesturing into the room. "If that's true...

"_Let's test that._"

* * *

The most thrilling part of the challenge was the new edge it brought to training. There were new risks to consider. New things to worry about. New barriers to break.

The dress was, according to Nami, nice enough looking. She didn't really get the appeal, but it would suit her purposes for now. The important thing was how it affected training. Every technique had to come with the consideration for the dress. She couldn't let the dress fly up too high and expose her underwear. It required her to move differently. Rethink every attack. Change course with the blades. And the shorter her dress was, the bigger the challenge.

Of course, in real combat she would just return to her normal clothes. She was a challenge seeker, but she wasn't about to throw away what she was comfortable with. Well, unless her opponent said she couldn't pull it off, anyway.

She didn't initially think the make-up would be good for anything other than proving Nami wrong. That was before she hit upon the idea of keeping that safe. She made a baffled Usopp set up a water system to spray at her in random intervals. She had to dodge each spray to make sure it didn't hit her face, ruining her make-up. At first, it was nothing. Then, when she ratcheted up the speed, and tried to keep the dress dry too, she found she was moving faster than ever. It was a much greater challenge than she expected.

If Zoro had known how much more it would test her strength, she would have tried out being a woman years ago.

Still. When she was alone in the room and she had to reflect in the mirror... Zoro did wonder if this was a good idea. She didn't really know if she felt more or less comfortable as a woman. She was still Zoro. The greatest swordsman in the world.

...Swordswoman.

She wondered if Kuina would think she was making fun of her. Making fun of her struggles and suffering. Zoro didn't live through the same world Kuina did. Zoro didn't even know if she had the right to take Kuina's swordswoman title from her.

Well... she wouldn't back down yet. Just to see how it felt a little longer.

But she definitely knew dresses were out once training was over.

* * *

Usopp perched himself near the helm, hands around the bars of the railing. He peered between them, staring at the swordswoman in utter confusion. She was dodging each blast of water, while still not letting the dress fly up.

Zoro in a dress. Zoro. In a dress. And she didn't react like it was a weird thing at all.

In fact, she was kind of pulling it off.

Sanji sighed dreamily. He leaned against the railing next to the sharpshooter, smoke drifting up from his lips. "Bless Nami-san's wits. It looks so amazing on her..."

Usopp edged a few inches away. "But... he's-"

Sanji's foot was instantly pressed on his skull. "_She_. She says she's a she, so she's a she. Respect it."

"Ow, ow, _ow!_ Okay! I get it!" The foot was removed. Usopp rubbed his head in head. "I just... I dunno. I guess I don't get it."

Sanji gave him a perplexing stare. "What's there to get? If she says she's a woman, she's a woman. If he says he's a man, he's a man. Even Luffy gets it."

It was true. Luffy had accepted the changes with nothing more than a shrug. That made it worse, somehow. He could understand Sanji, Robin, and Zoro leaping through whatever mental hoops suited their fancy. It was Luffy's acceptance that got Usopp wondering what he couldn't understand.

"So people just... choose who they are and that's it?"

Sanji waved a hand. "That's the miracle of women."

"But that's just..." He scratched his head. "Under that logic, I could just say I'm a woman now and then I'd be a woman."

Silence.

Usopp turned towards the cook. "Sanji?"

Sweat was pouring his face. Usopp barely had the time to process what that meant when Sanji's body tipped over the railing and tumbled down to the next deck.

"Oh, goddammit."

* * *

Nami stared at Usopp.

Usopp stared at Nami.

Nami stared at Usopp's bag.

Usopp's bag stared at Nami.

Nami stared back at Usopp.

"...I just gotta get out of there. Its too weird with Sanji."

"Its weird here too. And I'm not sharing a bed. There's only two."

Zoro slipped between them, swords over her shoulder. "Bed's too soft anyway. I'll be in the crow's nest."

But she clapped Usopp's shoulder as she went. "Welcome aboard."

What an ominous sentence that was.

* * *

The benefits, Usopp determined, was mostly the extra food from Sanji. Being spoiled with little cakes and sweets while he worked on his gear was a delight.

He just wished he'd cool it with the nicknames.

"Anything else, Cutesopp?"

_Ugh._ "No, Sanji."

"No cakes, Sparrow? Ah- how about just some bread-"

He slammed his wrench on the table. "_No, Sanji_"

"Of course, Usopp-chan! Call me if you need me~"

Nights were just weird. He and Nami just sort of sat down in each bed and stared at the ceiling. Wondering how long this would go on.

"...how do they do it?"

He could hear Nami turning beneath her sheets. "Do what?"

"Just... decide to be something else? Someone else?"

"It is _them_ we're talking about. Obsessing over women is hard-coded in Sanji's brain. Zoro doesn't care about anything but swords. And Robin's.... Robin."

"So you can't... really do it then. Try genders."

"I dunno. I've never heard of it before."

"...Robin's never been wrong before though either."

"Yeah. _Yeah._"

They stared at the ceiling some more.

"I tried, a bit."

Usopp turned towards her voice. "What?"

"At the last port? I tried being a man."

"_How?_"

"I... dunno. I just told Sanji I would try it while we shopped. And that was weird enough, him grumbling about walking with me instead of with Zoro. So we walked around and I tried to sorta... change my posture and walk different. I wore different stuff and I tried... lowering my voice?" She was hurrying through the words now. "And tried to think of myself different and tough and- I dunno, it was dumb. I didn't like it."

Usopp stared into the darkness. Then back to the ceiling. "So you chose to try it and then... switch back."

"...Yeah."

"I mean, you're mostly normal."

"What do you mean _m__ostly_-"

"Oh come on, look at the company we keep."

That shut her up.

"But you can try it. And change back. No pressure."

"...I guess, yeah."

There was another long stretch of silence.

"Do _you_ want to try it?"

* * *

He refused to look in the mirror. His eyes were squeezed shut and covered behind a dozen mental locks and keys.

Nami had done... something. She hadn't put him in any of her clothes, but she'd done something to his normal ones. They felt different, somehow. And then she'd plastered something on him. Something with little tubes and sticks and all those bizarre contraptions women seemed to keep with them for whatever ungodly reason. And then she had smothered it all over him and no doubt made him look like a complete freak of nature. He could see it in his mind. Everyone from Syrup Village laughing and pointing at the little lying weirdo pulling his stupid tricks. Laughing that anyone could fall for a trick like this.

"Usopp, if it makes you this unhappy, maybe we should-"

"N-No!" He was trembling all over. "I-if Zoro and Robin and you can do it... I can too! I can keep up with the rest of you!"

"Its not a strength test..."

"It is! Its the power of truly manhood!" His boasting sounded fake even to himself. "The ability to throw it away or take it back at whim!"

He could almost hear her eye roll. "Boys and their rituals... look-" She lead his hand over to the table. "There's a towel right here. Your other clothes are on the bed. You can take it all off without even looking if you want."

"I-I'm not going to give up!"

"_Usopp_." She pat his shoulder. "Its no pressure, right? Do it or don't... you're still our sharpshooter. Just like Zoro's still our swordfighter and Robin's still our... weird historian with arm powers. Relax, okay?"

He tried to make his whimper sound tougher.

"I'll be outside. Whatever you do, its all you."

She pulled her hand away. He could hear her shoes clop, clop, clop, door creak, door softly close, clop, clop, clop away.

He took a breath. And then another. And then another.

It was just... so hard _not_ to think of it as a big deal. Every day, he failed to be the man his father was. Yasopp was everything he wanted to be. Strong. Adventurous. Clever. A killer sharpshooter. But the only thing he was good at was lying. This would just be the final nail in the coffin of his failed masculinity.

...but he was good at lying. Maybe he could... lie to himself. Pretend to be someone else. Forget about the pressures and things he had to prove. His mom wasn't strong and adventurous like Yasopp but... she was still the person Usopp owed the most to. If he wasn't trying to be so much like Yasopp, he could try to be like Banchina.

For as long as he wanted, he could be Banchina's daughter instead of Yasopp's son.

Slowly, he lowered his hands and forced himself to open his eyes.

The girl in the mirror was cute. Nami had curled her natural curls further, letting them wave down her face. She had tied a little bandana in her hair, a cute one with little flowers printed on it. A bit of eyeshadow that made her lashes feel longer and... fluttery. Some blush to lighten up her tan face. And a bit of lipstick, a small splash of color for her lips. The clothes were almost exactly the same but... it felt different somehow. The legs were a little shorter. A pink cloth tied around his waist. The girl's waist.

The girl in the mirror was cute.

The girl in the mirror was Usopp.

And she... smiled. And laughed at the silliness of it all.

* * *

Nami wasn't sure what she expected, really. She had been proud of her work with Zoro. The dress wasn't quite Zoro's style, and she was kind of hoping for another chance to get something that was more... Zoro. She might have been a bit too eager to see how far she could take Usopp into that zone. She worried that she was going to give him a heart attack.

Instead, the Usopp that emerged from their room dazzled her with a sweet smile.

"How, um... you feeling?"

She clapped her hands together, tilting her head playfully. "Great! You did an amazing job. It really suits me."

"S-suits you?"

"Yeah! For now, anyway. Maybe I'll change my mind." She reached over the squeeze Nami's hands. She felt a blush creep up her own features. "Thanks, Nami. I wouldn't have tried it otherwise."

"N-no, erm, problem."

With another smile, Usopp practically floated off to her workshop.

Nami watched her leave. She couldn't tear her eyes away. Usopp... really was cute, as a girl.

* * *

It wasn't stalking. It wasn't like she was following her around and spying on her. She wasn't as bad as Sanji.

It was just... Usopp was _really_ cute.

So, sometimes, Nami made an excuse to check in on her. To talk with her. To hear her giggle and smile. To watch her beautiful hands get to work on her machines.

Sleeping in the same room was almost torture. She kept thinking about how Usopp's hair fell down in front of her eyes or that now she was wearing pajamas that used to belong to her (and she couldn't charge when Usopp asked so sweetly and how her eyes _sparkled_ when Nami said yes). In the morning, she got to help Usopp fix herself up again and she thought her heart was just going to leap out of her chest.

They went shopping together at the next port and seeing the wind in her hair and the sunlight sparkle in Usopp's eyes was just... overwhelming.

She did everything she could to keep Usopp's attention on her. Mostly because the attention made her heart race but also because, every now and then, she could see people giving them weird looks and she just wanted to strangle them until every disrespectful breath left their disrespectful bodies.

But she wouldn't because she didn't want Usopp to worry about what other people thought. Seeing Usopp look so tension free was worth holding back her anger.

"Its a welcome change for her." Robin sipping his tea as usual, flipping pages in his latest book. "She seemed so caught up in trying to be strong and tough and always thinking she wasn't good enough. Embracing femininity must have been refreshing for her. There's a theory called enantiodromia, you know. Too much force or pressure on a person to become one thing will eventually push them in the opposite direction."

Nami gazed out at the sea, mind a million other places. "She's so... happy."

"Is that your type?"

She turned quickly, sputtering helplessly. "I-its not like that! I'm not- I mean I don't think of her like that!"

He gave her a disbelieving eyebrow raise. 

"I'm not... into girls."

"Are you sure? I've seen some evidence to the contrary."

"You have _not._"

He perched his chin in his hand again, grinning with amusement. "I believe I heard that you swooned over Kalifa upon meeting her."

That wasn't fair. That was the hardest example to defend against. "T-that's different. She used it against me! She assembled... that outfit!"

"You have been trying to put Zoro and Usopp in outfits you find appealing."

"I'm... supporting their interests! Besides, I clearly don't have a crush on you! Or Vivi!"

"You haven't looked at me the same way since I decided to be a man either."

"That's not true!"

He tilted a head. "Isn't it?"

Nami stopped to consider. Looking over Robin now, she hadn't notice the little ways Robin had changed his appearance. Things that Nami would have considered gorgeous on Robin now just seemed... fine. Normal. Not worth noting. His ponytail seemed much more designed for practicality than style. Or at least, Nami's image of style. It was a more... masculine style.

A style she just hadn't been interested in paying attention to.

"...But you don't look any different. You're wearing a skirt."

Robin shrugged. "Who says a man can't? Besides, its all about perspective anyway. You didn't notice because I'm not a woman."

Another point she couldn't argue. Nami glanced back over the ship.

Zoro had abandoned the dresses and make-up and returned to her normal outfit. And that was devastating, in a way. But that outfit was... suitable. The way it sat on Zoro's muscles really brought out her better features. Maybe she could talk her into something a little tighter, show off a little more skin. She could even phrase it to her as a challen-

She shook her head. That... couldn't count. Man or woman, Zoro was still a beast. She turned over to check on Usopp.

She was laughing and playing with the boys now, almost in hysterics at whatever impression Luffy was testing out now. God, Nami wished she was close to hear her laugh. She was trying out a different outfit today too. She switched out her overalls for a tank top and a skirt that just looked _incredible_. Maybe, in the morning, she could comb her hair in a different little style that-

Oh.

Hm.

She crossed her arms, leaning back into her chair. "Okay, okay, I see your point. But I'm not as bad as Sanji."

Robin chuckled in amusement. The laugh wasn't actually different from normal, but Nami couldn't help but notice that she liked it less that Robin's giggle.

* * *

"Everyone's switching rooms a lot..."

Robin looked up from his book. It was raining and everyone was too busy today to play, which meant Luffy was stuck sitting inside with him.

"Does that bother you, Captain?"

Luffy plucked at his ear, digging out a ball of wax. "Its _boring_ now. I miss Usopp and Zoro."

"Sanji's been very insistent on keeping them split."

Luffy pouted. "I don't get it. He's so fussy!"

"I suppose you could be a girl too. Then you could join Usopp and Zoro and Nami's room."

He jumped up, bright shining in his eyes, grinning in delight. "I could?!"

"Absolutely." He paused though, in consideration. Playing with gender was fun and all, but a Luffy that Sanji couldn't deny could be risky for their food supply. "If you want to be one, of course."

Luffy tilted his head. "A girl?"

"Yes."

"What does that mean?"

"People might call you cute and insist you care more about your appearance."

"Sounds like work..."

"It sometime is."

"Is that why you're a man now?"

He waved a hand. "Partly."

Luffy flopped back into his seat. "I don't get it."

He tucked a little bookmark in his book, shutting it carefully. "Do you like being a man?"

Luffy furrowed his brow, giving it a great deal more thought than Robin anticipated. "Its fine, I guess."

"Let's try being a woman for a bit."

"Okay!"

Satisfied, Robin reopened up his book and finished the next few pages. Then he closed it again and looked back at Luffy.

"How did it feel?"

"Huh?" She had engrossed herself in pulling on her nose to see how far it could stretch.

"Being a woman."

"Oh. Fine, I guess."

"Any difference?"

She shrugged. "Nah. Does everyone _have_ to choose?"

"Not at all. You don't have to be a man or a woman."

Eyes lit up again. "Really?!"

"Of course."

"And I could still see Usopp and Zoro?!"

"Most certainly."

She nodded certainly. "That! I want that!"

"Then its so, Captain."

He opened his book back up. The Captain returned to their nose experiment.

And that was that.

* * *

By the end of the month, almost the entire crew had switched back and forth at least once. Luffy moved from room to room as it pleased them in the moment. Nami quickly gained sympathy for everyone who had been stuck with them before- Zoro was _nothing_ compared to rooming with Luffy.

Usopp and Zoro hadn't quite committed to anything but were content with their present little experimentation. Nami couldn't deny that Franky's brief stint as a woman had only added to her increasing sexual confusion. Tall, muscled girls had a distinct appeal she couldn't deny.

Brook's own experiment was the one they all had the hardest to cope with. His own sensibilities about what men and women could do were closer to Sanji's that the cook probably liked. Defying the unfair systems and bounds of gender was one thing. A skeleton asking all the men if she could see what was in their boxers was different.

He kept the dress though. Sanji and Nami thought a lot about how it would've looked on him when he was alive. Man or woman, he owned it.

Chopper had volunteered some estrogen or testosterone to the entire crew, if anyone really wanted to fully stick with any new genders. And if they changed their mind, it was easy enough to shift back with pills of the opposite caliber.

But eventually, things seemed to settle into a normal groove. In the end, Nami figured, they _were_ pirates. They didn't really have to obey anyone's rules. That was the point of their freedom. They could be anything they wanted to be.

It was during dinner then, that Robin pressed on the status quo again.

"You know, Mister Chef, you have quite a bit of respect for women."

He grinned, leaning back with pride. "As every man should. They deserve only the best."

"With such reverence, have you considered if you might be a woman as well?"

Everyone froze once again.

Nami hated how quickly her mind was already racing. Sanji in a dress. Sanji in a skirt. A short skirt, that showed off a nice bit of leg. Cooked meals from a woman like Sanji. A woman with long, flowing blonde hair and a charming smile and a soft voice whispering "Nami-san~"

Sanji laughed out loud, shaking his head kindly. "No, definitely not. "

"Are you sure?"

And Sanji responded as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I don't have that honor."

Whatever could be said about Sanji, he was consistent.


End file.
